Community standards.
There is a baseline, and it is not negotiable. Every member commits to this before their first event.
Attendance integrity.
Show up to events you RSVP’d for. Late cancellations have a cost. You don’t ghost. If something comes up, tell us. We can be gracious about the once. We can’t be gracious about the pattern.
Decorum at events.
Engage. Put your phone away. Treat hosts with respect. Don’t get sloppy. Don’t hit on members who aren’t in Discerning Mode. Dress with basic dignity. These aren’t scripts; they’re the minimum for a room that’s worth showing up to.
No cold contact.
Don’t work around Seen’s connection model. Don’t solicit numbers to cold-text later. Don’t misuse the trust of the community. Friendship and dating on Seen are both mutual-only for a reason.
Honesty.
Your application, your profile, your status. No misrepresentation. If you’re engaged, mark yourself engaged. If your practice has shifted, tell us. Seen is a small community; the floor is honest.
Enforcement.
Three strikes. A private warning, a 30-day suspension from RSVPs, then removal. Bright-line violations (harassment, predatory behavior, serious misrepresentation) skip straight to the third. Enforcement is silent: when a member is removed, they’re simply gone. We don’t name names. We don’t announce. The norm is set upfront; silence keeps the room intact.
Discerning Mode is private.
Profiles you see in Discerning Mode on iOS are screenshot-protected at the OS level. The system refuses to capture the screen. We do this so members in a sensitive season can be honest without that honesty leaking. Web members see only display name plus a stub on Discerning matches; the prose lives on iOS, behind the protection. Don’t try to work around it. Don’t paraphrase what you read. The room only stays honest if the room stays sealed.
Read these once. Come back if something goes sideways. Otherwise, go be a good member.